Demonstrating the teachings of Jesus with friends is powerful!

Children get to a certain age, and then, for whatever reason, they just turn mean…

I had a great time at school, but, up until around the age of 10, things took a dramatic turn. Maybe it was just in my school – it was a Christian school too! My pre-teens were fraught with highs, lows and many tears. I was in a large girl group where everyone was competing for the friendship of others and people were turning on members of the group from one day to the next. We sang Christian songs together, said corporate prayers, many had believing parents, so why weren’t the practical teachings of Jesus entering into the daily life of this group?

Round and round the ‘teary-go-round’ we go

It was like a vicious circle, where you would receive insults about yourself or your parents and even though it felt unnatural, you would hurdle mean words back. I admit it, to my shame, I pushed through my conscience and made kids cry. It was fuelled by hurt, embarrassment and shame. When there are two or more kids together, it only takes one bully to be amongst them for a group to quickly turn into a gang of bullies. “You hurt me, so I hurt you”, “you stole my friend so I’m against all of you” and around the ‘teary-go-round’ we go.

From tears to fruit

At some point in my life, as a child, I started reading my bible and really taking on board the teachings of Jesus. I had set in my heart that I was going to try His teachings for myself. I had a friend over at my house and we were hanging out in my room, but, she started to be mean to me and hurdle insults at me. This was the perfect moment to try break this toxic cycle and test one of Jesus’s teachings. Instead of crying or retaliating, I got up, asked if she wanted some fruit and went out of the room to grab some fruit for us. Unbeknownst to me, spiritually that was a fruit-producing moment and isn’t it amazing how God pairs the spiritual with the physical as we learn and grow. When I came back with our fruit and entered the room, I saw my friend and she had tears falling down her face. I was shocked and asked her why she was crying, to which she responded, she felt terrible as she was mean to me but I was nice to her. I was able to tell her about Jesus and His teachings and about how we should not retaliate but instead we should love one another. Her parents were not religious, but for her birthday, I gave her a bible and later in her life, she came to God and was saved.

From retaliation to admiration

When I was in a confrontation with a girl, she threw an insult at me and I purposefully found something I admired about her and gave it back. She would say, for example, “You are such a loser!” and then I would say, “I really like your earrings and think they suit you, where did you get them from?”. One of the hardest things to do is to have a fight with someone who is giving you a compliment as it says “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Prov 15:1. This really baffles the mind of the person being mean and can actually win them over to become a friend.

From fiery gossip to trusted friendship

When my friend spoke to me about someone else, I found the best thing to do is to say something like this to them “I understand you would like to talk about that person, but it is probably best you speak directly to them if you have any issues with them, as I don’t feel comfortable speaking about them when they are not here with us.” It is better not to add wood to the fire or facilitate its growth “Without wood, a fire goes out; without gossip, a conflict ceases.” Prov 26:20. In doing so, I gained more trust with my friends, as they felt safe with me. What they saw me doing for others, is what they knew I would do for them too.

Environment breeds impact

What an incredible impact believing children can have on non-believing children for the Kingdom of God. Children with no roots of faith are shaken when they receive what they have not deserved in the actions of Jesus demonstrated through a Christian child.

It is so important to provide the right environment that a Christian child needs. Where they are receiving love and acceptance from God in a personal relationship and have a solid and loving foundation at home so that they do not need these things from their friends. This enables them to become a watering can that regularly waters others, simply because, they are full themselves and have much overflow to give. I wish that I had stayed this course, but, sadly I did not, and I strayed from God for many years. It was, however, this root of relationship with Him that brought me back again at the age of twenty-four.

Putting faith into practice

Let’s teach our children to call every challenge and hurtful moment an opportunity to demonstrate and practice the love of Jesus Christ. Let’s show our children how to become so grounded in His love that we can’t feel the sharp pains that come out of people’s mouths, but, only have love overflowing to give. In doing so, we can all pick up the souls around us that have fallen to the ground and run together to finish the race. Just as rotten fruit makes other fruit rotten, love can spread too, and in doing this, we help build the Kingdom of God.